Posts Tagged ‘counseling for marriage’
The Advantages Of Seeking A Marriage Counselor
No one wants to admit they need help. The natural human aversion to failure is often so strong that many resist even admitting that the marriage isn’t going as they envisioned it. They endure bitterly silent breakfasts and stay at the pub an hour later just to avoid facing the facts and hoping that things will get better on their own. Or even worse, they will beat themselves up, saying, “I probably deserve this treatment.” Before the morale of your household degenerates further, consider visiting a marriage counselor as a guide through the emotional minefields.
You should endeavor to find a marriage counselor to help you avoid painful emotional outbursts. If you or your spouse spends any amount of time shouting at each other, crying or getting stuck in a constant cycle of derision and nagging, then counseling for marriage can help. Secondly, certified counselors provide added motivation to complete your plan to regain that romantic love again. Sometimes another person’s faith that your efforts will be successful is all you need to believe it yourself. While these may seem like things you might be able to do on your own, the third reason to seek counseling is to gain access to knowledge and strategies to help you achieve your goals. Over the years there have been many studies into human behavior, which can help us recognize our patterns of behavior and remedy the underlying causes of our feelings.
Finding the right marriage counselor can be very important to your success. Often couples look up a few numbers in the Yellow Pages or go with referrals from others. Be sure you choose your marriage therapy guide together, so there is no finger-pointing if the first counselor doesn’t work out. Look for marriage family counselors who have been in practice for at least seven years, who see at least 6-8 couples per week and who have specialized training. Be sure you find a therapist for couples and not just an individual therapist. Also, it’s a good idea to find someone affordable and close by, so there are no excuses to skip a session. Next, call each clinic to determine which counselor seems sincerely interested in you? Do they ask important questions to gather information or do they seem in a hurry to get off the phone with you?
You may be wondering what to expect from a marriage counselor session. During your first visit, you’ll each be quizzed separately, as well as together. You’ll acquaint yourselves with the therapist and establish a rapport. You’ll be asked about why you came to counseling for couples, establish a few goals and work from there. Often you’ll fill out a few questionnaires for the counselor to go over after you’ve left and he or she will come up with a plan for the next session. In the second session, a strategy will be promoted to address the marital problems and the session may last two hours, rather than one. By the end of session two, you’ll have a treatment plan and a few first assignments to work on. You may need to document the amount of undivided attention paid to each other or keep a journal of your progress. Each week you’ll report your successes and failures to the counselor until your goals have been realized.
Divorces And Counseling
Divorces cannot end well and there is no “easy way out.” While some couples feel they can “agree to disagree” and make a clean break, their kids may not feel the same way. Moreover, the financial and emotional toll can be easily underestimated. With the exception of abusiveness, many marital conflicts can be resolved through marriage family counselors, or, if you’d like, a counseling alternative like meeting with a financial advisor.
Counseling for couples has prevented many divorces. Sometimes, the problem is that couples aren’t communicating their goals, desires, expectations and feelings adequately. By learning conflict, resolution and communication skills, couples can often obtain healthy and happy relationships. Licensed professional counselors bring years of formal training, rigorous study, experience and an impartial judgment to the table that a married couple simply doesn’t have on their own. Sometimes people aren’t even fully aware what’s bothering them beneath the surface-level conflict, so a marriage therapist will be helpful in identifying underlying stressors. Couples can learn to work through problems, forgive and get over the past.
Another option is to attend divorce counseling with mental health counselors, rather than attorneys. “Divorce counseling” is sort of a misleading term because it’s intended to smooth the divorce process, rather than prevent it. If you’ve tried seeing licensed counselors and realize that there’s no other alternative, then divorce counseling can help avoid an expensive and hotly contested court battle. Often divorced couples feel deep resentment over property or the kids, which can be avoided by seeking divorce assistance. With therapeutic help, couples can gain a sense of closure and prepare for their separate futures. They’ll gain help deciding upon property division, child custody/visitation, child rearing and coming to a fair agreement.
Sometimes counseling for marriage prevents divorces by laying out simple guidelines, identifying wants/needs and giving the impression of a fresh start. Other times, the rules laid out during a counseling session are broken by one or both of the party, which leads to a divorce regardless. Either way, at least the couples will take the next step knowing they did all they could to salvage the marriage. Whether reunited or separated, they’ll take their new communication, mediation and financial skills to their next stage of life.
What Are The Various Types Of Catholic Marriage Counseling?
licensed professional counselors
The methods used to strengthen the marital union, the cost of the services and the intention differ between Catholic marriage counseling and marriage therapists. While both types of counseling aim at rebuilding the marital bond, pastoral counselors will invite the couple to return to loving God’s presence in each other and focus on their core principals and values. On the other hand, licensed professional counselors look into communication styles, conflict modes and psychoanalytical topics.
One form of Catholic counseling happens before you even get married. Pre-marriage counseling is generally part of any Christian ceremony. Counseling for couples may be done in sessions, as a weekend retreat or as a group seminar. As with any other marital counseling, you’ll learn about conflict management, identifying wants or needs and strengthening communication skills. Often this opportunity is partially covered by insurance, with a small fee based on an income-sensitive sliding scale. The idea is that pitfalls can be prevented with a little bit of skill building and knowledge prior to tying the knot.
Another type of Catholic marriage counseling is for crisis intervention. Sometimes God’s sheep lose their way and succumb to anger or violence. The Catholic Church can help couples learn to forgive, reform and reconcile. In some cases, the damage or the destructiveness may require another intervention from licensed professional counselors, but the local pastors and priests have community resources at their disposal to deal with whatever discord comes their way.
Catholic marriage counseling is ideal for couples with strong faith who feel as though they’re falling off the path. Perhaps they’re feeling bored, having adulterous thoughts or are stressing about communication in the household. The basic premise is that one’s faith in God will provide all the strength one needs to sort through the tribulations of married life. Even though matches are said to be “made in Heaven,” we can often use a helping hand to remind us of our earthly purpose. Whether you choose a personal couples session, a group seminar or a romantic weekend retreat, Christian marriage counseling is a great start.